Skate borders and the Church parking lot.

I've currently been busy really in a number of different ways.

My school for one has been completely time consuming which is what College is suppose to be as I hear. I'm okay with that for the most part, nothing that I'm coming up against is anything I can't handle per say but it still pretty tough.

I've also been 'dating' more than one person. Okay here is the thing about me, for some reason when it comes to 'relationship' sort of attention I can not seem to get enough of it. Not in the immature sort of attention, but it comes from being bombarded from multiple areas and not being able to slow down and say 'I'm sorry I currently have way too much on my plate now and am sort of dating someone else'.

Can I pull the foster kid card? I wasn't loved enough? I wouldn't dare.

So you know about the mature banker guy I've been seeing lately. Everything in that respect is going amazingly, he's a nice down to earth guy who is always...so nice. My first logical reaction would be to stick by him, its something completely stable and I should be happy with what I have.

I'm not, not in the least.

I enjoy a certain amount of trouble.

In the same way married men sometimes wish they had a that metaphorically 'bad' wife.

Its sick let me tell you what. For one if I didn't have enough complication in my life I bring another person on board to enjoy the ride.

He's a 16 year old skater guy that is into the tall footballer type.

(Thought I would also mention that its completely legal in my state for another 9 days).

Which if I hadn't said enough times I fit that stereotype perfectly.

He happens to be about 5'4 and hundred and fifteen pounds. Exactly my type. Tight black pants band t-shirt skater guy. Its cute.

Its funny because the other night we were making out like a bunch of high schoolers would (ick I know you don't wanna hear about it but its important to my point). He's naming off all the things he likes about me and I'm noticing its everything I don't like about myself. Then I go onto mention everything I like about him and its the same way. He hates that he's small and scrawny...I like that...I hate being tall and built.

Nice right?

Dysfunctional maybe and the whole situation could get me in some serious trouble if I'm not careful.

But I like it. The idea of getting in trouble is sort of appealing to me, in that area anyway.

Plus he's completely random in every sort of way. Following my thought process perfectly.

He calls me up at 12:30 Saturday night and wants me to come pick him up so we can 'hangout' which is code for...well you know.

“OH look a burger king, I'm thirsty lets stop!”

2 hours later we are sitting in the church parking lot we decided to park to 'hangout'. Its past his bed time and I have to pry him off me to take him home.

Now if that isn't gaining back some of those years stuck in foster care not being able to make out with the boys I wanted too...I dunno what will.

Here in about an hour I'm heading over to his house to 'hangout' before his mother gets home from work.

If anyone has any thoughts on this situation I am very open to input at this point.

Suite mates and the Banker Boyfriend.

So, as it goes I am a reasonably romantic person.

Which is surprising for a few reasons. Not really having very good role models growing up in that department left me a little dazed I think, add on the fact that I'm a gay man makes it a little more complicated then one would expect.

I think a majority of what you think or know as 'romance' is taken from your parents example. Not really surprising because you take many of the things you know relationship wise from your parents...I could be wrong but I do think that line of thought is correct.

Really a pretty small personality trait, but somewhat important I hear.

Back to my point,

I have a boyfriend (crazy right?)

I also work and go to school. Being with someone can take a back seat sometimes. Which it has at this point, I can't be a successful student and be a fantastic partner. Its rough. But Andy understands and knows that my school comes first, but he is not any less important to me.

Andy is a great guy, which is hard to come by here in the gay wasteland. Works at a local bank, wears a suit and plans on going places.

So I took Andy to an expensive restaurant (funded by a recent relatives visit, but of course he doesn't know that) and a movie which both turned out really well.

Yay for brownie points.

Then he wanted to go back to my dorm and meet my suite mates.

I decided a little while back that I was going to take coming out here very slowly because I have to live with these same three guys for nine months, I'd really like them to know me as who I am instead of 'the gay guy' which is very easily done.

So I made up an excuse, it worked, I was off the hook.

It might only work one or two other times, then I'll have to explain the real reason.

Its not really lying if its said to keep the other person from being hurt right?

All for the greater good.

Twinkerbell and my first week of Classes.

I feel innately fake sometimes.

Not entirely of my own doing, but when I look at how I approach meeting new people I have a mass of different facades I use in different situations.

I do have a partial understanding that a lot of the way I approach different situations has a lot to do with the fact that I have a very very loose grip on who I am as a person.

Which can be associated with my constantly fluid childhood. Always changing always adapting kept me alive. But the part of me that worries me the most is that I think that 'adaptability' switch is stuck in the ON position.

If that makes sense.

First week of school down.

I'm really enjoying the academic atmosphere that living on campus has, being around a large majority of educated people has a lot of advantages.

My 7:40am class (lab/lecture) is killing me slowly, its definitely what I am into as majors go, its just a pretty intense class. Learning all the hardware componants (most of which I already had exposure too in prior classes) plus the dynamic between said hardware and its connectivity is incredible.

The communication class is not as anxiety producing as I figured it was; again the difference between being in a classroom full of high schoolers compared to being in a room full of college level folks who all want to be in the class (not always for the same reason but being in a class to fulfill a requirement is definitely under 'want').

Making friends seems easy, my roommates are pretty much what I expected, rowdy guys my age who are here trying to do one thing or another. I am convinced that one of which is completely gay.

Rip'ed jeans little dog kinda gay. Rather he's terminally Twinkerbell.

I'd take the jeans but not the little dog.

Fyi- he's really nice to look at.

Did I mention my school has something like a 4:1 male to female ratio...its amazing how many guys are all in one area.

I digress.

School is what its suppose to be; exhausting. Which is to be expected.

Sunday I'm going back to Yondalla. See about these fake boobs I hear Frankie is going on about.