You, Me and the Goldfish

So here we are 4:06am, you me and the goldfish.

I feel like I have to put something out there that is very important and amazingly perceptive about myself. More importantly a youth that has issues when it comes to roots.

Oh yes, roots folks those awkward things that I have to deal with on a daily basis.

Not the movie about black oppression.

I had a breakthrough - something that only happens at this time of the morning while watching a movie that you can truly relate too at this time of the night.

The main characters real name is Aaron, who for one very important reason he changes to Jack. Now as the story progresses you understand more and more why, being released on parole for a childhood infraction he is trying to make a new start for himself.

The movie of course is set in the United Kingdom somewhere in which the system understands despite making a horrible choice as a kid you are only human and as such are deserving of a second chance. Rehabilitation is their number one goal.

Unlike a far off place we all know.

I digress.

The whole movie follows this young adult near my age as he works and lives with a secret that he doesn't want anyone to know about.

I feel that's how I live my life.

I am the keeper of secrets.

I am always looking for a more comfortable metaphorical closet to hide them in...Dinosaur bones that they have become for me.

But as the character goes along trying to explain his awkward self and why he does the things he does - that's me.

What makes me Ill is that I can relate to a fictional character who killed a playmate as a child.

No, Not the murder portion but the Secret. The Secret that he fights tooth and nail to never give away. I mean come on - he changed his name.

Not to be melodramatic but I would kill to start completely over.

Forsake every inch of life I have up until this point for a fictional backlog of who it is to be Evan.

To be a Jack Smith. - Protector of the bones.

I've decided that...

First of all I've decided that it still might, for one good reason or another be good to have a regular outlet for the outside world.

So I sit here listening to Claude Debussy wondering if the correct answer to life with all of its struggles is in fact Blogger itself...

Whaddya think?

Well with that ladies and gentlemen I'm here to offically say I'm very sorry I have abandoned you all and once more I should be writing more often then once a Decade.

Bonne journée.