Skate borders and the Church parking lot.

I've currently been busy really in a number of different ways.

My school for one has been completely time consuming which is what College is suppose to be as I hear. I'm okay with that for the most part, nothing that I'm coming up against is anything I can't handle per say but it still pretty tough.

I've also been 'dating' more than one person. Okay here is the thing about me, for some reason when it comes to 'relationship' sort of attention I can not seem to get enough of it. Not in the immature sort of attention, but it comes from being bombarded from multiple areas and not being able to slow down and say 'I'm sorry I currently have way too much on my plate now and am sort of dating someone else'.

Can I pull the foster kid card? I wasn't loved enough? I wouldn't dare.

So you know about the mature banker guy I've been seeing lately. Everything in that respect is going amazingly, he's a nice down to earth guy who is always...so nice. My first logical reaction would be to stick by him, its something completely stable and I should be happy with what I have.

I'm not, not in the least.

I enjoy a certain amount of trouble.

In the same way married men sometimes wish they had a that metaphorically 'bad' wife.

Its sick let me tell you what. For one if I didn't have enough complication in my life I bring another person on board to enjoy the ride.

He's a 16 year old skater guy that is into the tall footballer type.

(Thought I would also mention that its completely legal in my state for another 9 days).

Which if I hadn't said enough times I fit that stereotype perfectly.

He happens to be about 5'4 and hundred and fifteen pounds. Exactly my type. Tight black pants band t-shirt skater guy. Its cute.

Its funny because the other night we were making out like a bunch of high schoolers would (ick I know you don't wanna hear about it but its important to my point). He's naming off all the things he likes about me and I'm noticing its everything I don't like about myself. Then I go onto mention everything I like about him and its the same way. He hates that he's small and scrawny...I like that...I hate being tall and built.

Nice right?

Dysfunctional maybe and the whole situation could get me in some serious trouble if I'm not careful.

But I like it. The idea of getting in trouble is sort of appealing to me, in that area anyway.

Plus he's completely random in every sort of way. Following my thought process perfectly.

He calls me up at 12:30 Saturday night and wants me to come pick him up so we can 'hangout' which is code for...well you know.

“OH look a burger king, I'm thirsty lets stop!”

2 hours later we are sitting in the church parking lot we decided to park to 'hangout'. Its past his bed time and I have to pry him off me to take him home.

Now if that isn't gaining back some of those years stuck in foster care not being able to make out with the boys I wanted too...I dunno what will.

Here in about an hour I'm heading over to his house to 'hangout' before his mother gets home from work.

If anyone has any thoughts on this situation I am very open to input at this point.

Suite mates and the Banker Boyfriend.

So, as it goes I am a reasonably romantic person.

Which is surprising for a few reasons. Not really having very good role models growing up in that department left me a little dazed I think, add on the fact that I'm a gay man makes it a little more complicated then one would expect.

I think a majority of what you think or know as 'romance' is taken from your parents example. Not really surprising because you take many of the things you know relationship wise from your parents...I could be wrong but I do think that line of thought is correct.

Really a pretty small personality trait, but somewhat important I hear.

Back to my point,

I have a boyfriend (crazy right?)

I also work and go to school. Being with someone can take a back seat sometimes. Which it has at this point, I can't be a successful student and be a fantastic partner. Its rough. But Andy understands and knows that my school comes first, but he is not any less important to me.

Andy is a great guy, which is hard to come by here in the gay wasteland. Works at a local bank, wears a suit and plans on going places.

So I took Andy to an expensive restaurant (funded by a recent relatives visit, but of course he doesn't know that) and a movie which both turned out really well.

Yay for brownie points.

Then he wanted to go back to my dorm and meet my suite mates.

I decided a little while back that I was going to take coming out here very slowly because I have to live with these same three guys for nine months, I'd really like them to know me as who I am instead of 'the gay guy' which is very easily done.

So I made up an excuse, it worked, I was off the hook.

It might only work one or two other times, then I'll have to explain the real reason.

Its not really lying if its said to keep the other person from being hurt right?

All for the greater good.

Twinkerbell and my first week of Classes.

I feel innately fake sometimes.

Not entirely of my own doing, but when I look at how I approach meeting new people I have a mass of different facades I use in different situations.

I do have a partial understanding that a lot of the way I approach different situations has a lot to do with the fact that I have a very very loose grip on who I am as a person.

Which can be associated with my constantly fluid childhood. Always changing always adapting kept me alive. But the part of me that worries me the most is that I think that 'adaptability' switch is stuck in the ON position.

If that makes sense.

First week of school down.

I'm really enjoying the academic atmosphere that living on campus has, being around a large majority of educated people has a lot of advantages.

My 7:40am class (lab/lecture) is killing me slowly, its definitely what I am into as majors go, its just a pretty intense class. Learning all the hardware componants (most of which I already had exposure too in prior classes) plus the dynamic between said hardware and its connectivity is incredible.

The communication class is not as anxiety producing as I figured it was; again the difference between being in a classroom full of high schoolers compared to being in a room full of college level folks who all want to be in the class (not always for the same reason but being in a class to fulfill a requirement is definitely under 'want').

Making friends seems easy, my roommates are pretty much what I expected, rowdy guys my age who are here trying to do one thing or another. I am convinced that one of which is completely gay.

Rip'ed jeans little dog kinda gay. Rather he's terminally Twinkerbell.

I'd take the jeans but not the little dog.

Fyi- he's really nice to look at.

Did I mention my school has something like a 4:1 male to female ratio...its amazing how many guys are all in one area.

I digress.

School is what its suppose to be; exhausting. Which is to be expected.

Sunday I'm going back to Yondalla. See about these fake boobs I hear Frankie is going on about.

Been Really Busy..I Swear

Okay, So a million things have been going on.

School School School

add in four hours of work off-campus and I've been really busy.

I promise at some point to do a in depth sort of post, I've been completely booked.

I haven't forgotten about my faithful readers though!

Just thought I'd update you.

So I finished taking the one class I have on Monday.

It started at 7:40am and went till 11am, and then my day is complete.

Sounds nice right?

I feel like such a newbie freshman, I have a total of 15 credits over the whole first semester.

IT Essentials, Computer Networking I, Operating System basics, English 102 with a total of 15 credits…it still feels light.

In all honesty I didn’t get into the English class I wanted; the one that will get me on track for my BAS (Bachelors of Applied Science). I’m currently in an Applied comp. English class, which I don’t want to be in, if I continue with the class I’ll get a credit, but the credit it won’t be applied really in any way to my end result. My bachelor’s degree.

I don’t feel like I’d be fulfilled with getting my Associates degree, plus I don’t really think it’s what the technical field is looking for in a network administrator.

The class itself, my tech. class shouldn’t be an issue; most of the things we’ve gone over in the syllabus is things I’ve already had exposure too.

Plus there is a course next semester with network security where the final is basically to try and hack the campus’s main server system without causing any real damage.

It’s a wet dream of sorts.

Well close anyway.

Mr. Bean's Holiday and the Big move.

So I can only speak for at this point about college life. Not yet taken any actual classes I can’t really talk about the academic side of things just yet, but I’ll get to that in another post I’m sure.

It’s interesting, because it’s a lot like a little more adult version of High School, go figure. With it being a lot like an adult version of High School; I’ve officially remade my room (not so much my image because I do the football jock thing just fine) But my room has become something a little less gay, I mean I even took out the questionable DVD’s in my collection and put them in my bottom drawer because if someone came an looked I didn’t want them to see my version of Locked Up.

In all honesty my roommates are pretty cool. I’ve got three other roommates other than myself; Rob, Ben and Jon. We share a sort of apartment style dorm where we all share a bathroom, shower etc. and a common area (couch, TV, table). One room is a double-room, the other two are private rooms, I of course have a private room for which I had to fight tooth and nail to get.

Now as square footage go my room is the same size as Rob’s (he’s the other roommate that has a private room; Ben and Jon share the double.) But Rob’s room is a lot longer than mine and mine is well…a lot wider. So in all practical purposes my room is a cave…still it is only my room and no one else’s which I’m happy about.

I’m on the fourth floor of a newer building just outside the huge football stadium. The floor I’m on happens to be a academically enhanced floor; theoretically you can only be on this floor if your part of ‘Civic Leadership’ an organization that gets together community projects and does a lot of the events around campus. Now I of course am not part of the civic leadership just yet, here in about twenty minutes I’m going to go speak with the academic advisor on the floor about joining, with my personality traits I should be a shoe-in. Theoretically.

The most interesting thing about my personality is how well I go into social situations. I do amazingly well, I am easy to make conversation and make people laugh and the way I can talk to anyone even if I don’t really know them in any sort of context. But I do especially well in forced social interaction, like living in a dorm room with folks you don’t even know, another trait that has served me well over the years.

I think that accounts for me being told I’d do really well filling one of the spots on the leadership team.

I dunno.

Anyway, my next mission is to find a TV for my room. I’ve got a cable outlet but no TV! Someone needs to create a 'I'm-too-poor-to-buy-a-TV-for-my-dorm-room' fund.

Happy trails for now.

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P.s- Went and seen Mr. Beans Holiday last night downtown with a few of my floor mates...pretty much the most amazing clean humor film ever...plus I never thought I'd be going with a bunch of college students to see a G rated movie..lol

Sometimes Life is a kick in the Pants.

Having everything you own fit nicely into three plastic bins and two L.L bean duffel bags is seriously depressing.

For all the good that being in care a good portion of my life has done for me in the long run, sometimes I feel like there are some serious shortcomings.

I'll be posting more after Friday I'm sure.

Wish me luck.

*****
P.s - I was less scared moving across the planet then I am of moving 30 miles away into my dorm.